Groomsmen 'R' Us by Mr. Pineapple

The ladies have already been properly introduced, so it's time to give a little of the spotlight (I promise, you can have it back in no time, flat) to the guys that will be joining us and serving as the lead for the bridesmaid eye-candy. That statement's not nearly macho enough. Hm

Um... beer... poker... football... Scotch! There, that should do it. Here's to the guys whom I know will be more than happy to keep my glass full while the game's on and we're playing some cards. One slight modification will be made for the whole chronological intro vibe. Also, I'm using nicknames only... not only is anonymity super, these are also more fun than their real monikers.

{DS doing something scary to our cat Harrison top left, all other photos DS being weird/himself :) }

Demonspawn (aka, my best man):

When I proposed to Miss P, I wondered if the Commonwealth would put out a warrant for me because, well, it frowns on bigamy (I'm not for it, either). And, by all records, our dear friend DS fulfilled everything a Common Law Husband could be - we had lived together for the better part of eight years, all starting in our residence hall days. We've long-since learned to go beyond completing each other's sentences - we just make the most random associations and speak on them before asking if it makes sense. It always turns out to make sense (though generally just for the two of us). We've known each other since high school (where he laughed while watching some woman punch me in the head) and have shared more over the years than either one of us could've predicted since the day we simultaneously pushed our worrying mothers out of the room on freshman move-in day. When a guy's okay with getting kicked in the head after drunkenly playing frisbee at 3am, you know he's good people. So good, in fact, that Miss P and I kinda sorta adopted him for six months when all three of us shared a happy home (with too. many. cats.).

{photos 1 & 2 source: Weddings to go Key West, photo 3 AC and P-funk in college}

P-funk (aka, that guy Emily hears me talk about):

This guy and I were so close in high school and college that my parents basically adopted him - to this day, he refers to my mom as "Mama". We have weathered many a storm over the years, including a night Phil and I had too many drinks in too short a time and launched those miniature-fall-deco-pumpkins at the mysterious frat guys across the street. We haven't been able to connect for some of the times he returns to PA, so it'll be only a month before the wedding when Miss P discovers that the man she describes as "the guy from North Carolina who has a wife who sounds really fun" truly exists.

AC (aka, the man we support with our hard-earned tax dollars):

The legend of the AC is epic. This Brazilian transplant took our college community by storm, leaving countless barrels of Yuengling (his beverage of choice), scraps from Primanti's sandwiches, and worn-out copies of The Big Lebowski in his wake. A kind and honest friend, he is the smartest economist I know (not counting his adoptive parents and our good friends, the J's - both P.h. D faculty from our undergrad days). He is also the most blunt indicator of those people spewing irrational BS... a very nice resource to have around.

When Miss P passed the AC test on a random New Years Eve holiday weekend, I knew our relationship had potential. It was clear that she wasn't (too far) out of her element when she could tolerate me, DS, and the AC for four straight days of tangential movie references, greasy food and, well, the sometimes unpleasant consequences of three guys with greasy food at their disposal.

The Badger (aka, part of the musical entertainment at this little party we're throwing):

I met Badger in the fall of 2004 through his fiance at the time (and now his wonderful wife of nearly three years) who was in my graduate program. We liked beer (who doesn't?), food (he's a better cook than I am), and music (he and his friends play very, very well, I listen and make ridiculous and unrelenting requests for Journey's Greatest Hits).

Everything kicked into another gear, however, when Badger, Condor (his wife), and The Janitor (an awesome guy from their high school days) invited me to to join their curling team. That's right, curling. It's fantastic if you're playing, but Miss P tells me it's depressingly boring to watch rinkside. We had so much fun that we developed the nicknames you see here and developed aspirations of making a run at the Olympics. Sadly, our team soon disintegrated after the season. The Janitor moved to South Carolina for a great job, Condor went and got pregnant (their daughter is now a year old and wonderful n'@), but our friendship has lasted without the Teflon slip-on shoes (stylin'). Our shared obsession for pro- and college-football fantasy leagues is sure to torture our brides for years to come.

{Spider-Man out and about with us, Spider-Man and Miss P. with Cowboy Troy and Rich from Big and Rich, Spider-Man dancing and singing with Garfield hehe, Miss P. and Spider-Man while he was um... being Spider-Man}

Spider-Man (aka, the guy that makes liking country music okay):

Spidey is Miss P's favorite line dancing partner guy, and an even better friend to us both. They met at the local Rock-n-Country Saloon and apparently were good friends straight away, and it's easy to understand why. Ready to do anything for you even if you only just met, he's an extremely talented actor in the musical-theater scene and probably the hardest-working guy my age that I know. He makes going to the aforementioned saloon and country shows even better, and he's always good for a spot-on impression and a laugh. I'm looking forward to his MC performance at the wedding - he'll guarantee we all have a good time.

How do you know the groomsmen in your wedding? Do you know them?